And time held its breath so I could see, yeah And you set me free
School week numero dos. not so bad i guess, the work pile is increasing faster and faster however and im feeling like i have less and less time to complete everything. trying not to get overwhemled yet work likes to put me on for double shifts. And give me no days off:( But what can ya do. this week has been pretty uneventful thus far. Last friday i went to rachels to hang out w/ her n such that was a pretty good time, good break and a chance to see my chica. Saturday i had a few of the guys over n we just chilled cuz we had nothin better to do, dan made some harassing phone calls to some friends. Sunday the rents came home. Monday i had calc then work. blah. Tuesday i had skool then work. Wednesday i had work (of course was harassed by dan) Thursday (today) i had class. and my first college test. i did pretty well tho, got a 95! woot woot. Thats about it i have a shitload of hw due mon and tues and im working a double shift tomorrow and all day sunday. This is gona suck!
And its begun....... SCHOOL! AHHHHHHH... so tuesday was my first day of school, and not little kid school anymore we're talken COLLEGE here people COLLEGE. The first day wasnt too miserable, i was horribly nervous and such. and it didnt help that i have been stressed about it seems everything lately. but i can say the first day went down without TOO many mishaps... Then i had to work after which i didnt bring any of my books w/ me that day and somehow managed to get hw in EVERY class. And then work was horribly busy anyways so it sucked. the whole dining room was full and guess who was the only waitress! yep me! it was rough for a while but MOST of the customers were pretty understanding. Today was dia numero dos de college! it wasnt too bad. the only crappy part was having to run from calc to psych bc theyre at total opposite ends of the campus and my calc teacher likes to let us out a few min late. To the person whom ive been taking out my stress on: than you for being there and supporting me even though im extremely difficult at many times in my life. For this i love and cherish you for always. And to the friends whom I've lacked effort in involvement with. Im horrendously sorry. i wish it was something i could change but at this point in my life its not, since work and school are consuming me. For this i will try to change... as soon as i find some time
~Feeling Blue KC
Drowning in an ocean of childhood devotion. Where things just didnt work out like we planned
I thought we were beyond this, i thought we'd move past this point in our relationship. But I guess i was wrong since... SCHOOL STARTS AGAIN IN LESS THAN 5 DAYS!!!!! bullshit I tell you. And i have to get over the habit that plagues me, the skipping of classes or leaving school early to go take naps. i know i mean youd think theyd understand that people need naps these days. and not only that i'm PAYING to attend school now. $300 on BOOKS 4 MEASILY BOOKS! and it went on my CREDITCARD! boy am i angry about that. Anywho. School i hate you already and we havent even met yet. Would anyone like to coach me on schoo moral so that i dont skip out every day? i cant really afford to fail:(
Hmm what else is new. work is busy. it keeps me busy a lot of my life. not expecting that to change since ontop of starting school im also starting a 2nd job, i just hope i can keep up on everything i need to. *sigh*
Well i believe that is all, and zachamoo you better read this and comment your little heart out or ill beat you... with your goldfish, which i dont remember its name (sorry)
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
well its another wonderful day in the neighborhood, almost. well its sort of unusual, i actually have the day off.... amazing, cept im not even going to enjoy it, ive got so much to do that hasnt been done in forever. and i just want to relax to prep myself for the upcoming rest of the week since i have to work everyday for double shifts. yuck. Beyond that life is ... well i dont have a life beyond work since thats all i seem to do lately. work sleep laundry eat, move stuff. yep. but on a plus side, my sis is going back to school next monday woot Well thats it i think. time to go move stuff from one apt to the next. ~Never been super KC
and did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?
So heres the plan for the week... WORK. omg its amazing.. wait thats what i always have planned. anyways. ive realized i only write in here when im depressed maybe its because thats when i only think of venting my feelings or what not but i dont know. today suprisingly im not at all depressed just thinking for some reason. things are okay things are good. except the lack of money factor for both CC and i. but thats okay we'll manage. i love the boy. i really do. and boy am i hella amazed that things have gone for so long. today i have to go to the doctor YUCK. kill me now. Then for the rest of the week i will be working... weooooooo! yea sucka! at any rate.... i think thats all. im nervous about going to school in a month. (less than) and it sucks that everyones going away in like 2 weeks and i prolly wont get to see them at all before they go. but what can ya do i guess. thats the life of staying back home. im okay with it since ive got my best friend still.... my cat. lol. *crosses fingers that he wont die in 2 weeks* Well i think thats it. im sick of working i need a day off to ... i dont know. i get bored so easily now. well.. gbye! ~ Almost Super KC
Everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby
I really wish i remembered to write in this more often... of course that could be because im rarely home ever and dont have time to think anymore. It seems like all i do is work and sleep, is this really how my last summer vacation of my high school life should be? at any rate..... I'm broke, i wish i had money and didnt spend it on just anything... i finally got my tattoo fixed but of course i got another one. what can ya do i guess... they hurt soooo bad tho. anywho.. Hmmm what to write. work sucked especially yesterday... but what can ya do. today my plans were ruined due to the rainage... the ONE day i have off and i cant even go outside:0( This week paulie and i r gona go meet spongebob tho.. WOOT! that should be exciting;0) still with my CC tho.. Sucks that hes working 2 jobs and is never around and when he is hes tired n yea... :0/ I'll manage i guess.. i need to find something fun to do.. cheer myself up or something..... hmm I guess thats it...
Well its been a longer while than ive ever realized. A lot yet nothing has changed. Ive finally graduated high school... (like i had to wait or something) Not that i expected myself to fail, nor do i feel any different... just another step i guess. I'm still with cyrus, a big ol' 3 months now.... im a little unsure of where things are headed in my life right now, especially with my relationship among other relationships but all i can do is let things happen how they happen i guess... waiting is the hardest part. im so impatitent. WEll i dont know that i have anything else to write. Life has never been so wonderfully bad... ~KC
Well.... hmm.. been a while... again.. i guess its cuz im never home so i never thinnk to write anything... lets see.... school is boring, i can rarely stay through a full day of classes anymore. I spend most my free time w/ cyrus. which can be good but could be bad too. hopefully it will be good tho. i really do care a lot about him and for him .. he means a lot to me. All my other time goes to work.... i dont really mind work it just gets tiring and stressful after a while.... and theres 2 creepy ppl that work with me. lol. well i think thats it... besides me being anti social... i dont know what it is but im just annoyed with most ppl lately. i dont not like them but i also dont want to spend time with anyone. idk... im in a blah mood today. got a lot to think about... ~ Not so super kc
Well its been a while since ive written... a long while.. wahts new.... hmm... well nothing i guess. just trying to get through the last 6 weeks of school, spending time w/ cyrus. and yea thats really it. gota find myself a job ASAP.... it sucks not having ne money:0( well hmm i think thats it...... spring break was kinda boring, didnt really do much of ne thing.... and yea thats it ~KC
Hmmm the week so far.... saterday i did nothing, after my blog. i think... prolly lots of sleeping. Sunday i did nothing but work on my art project that sucked and i turned it in half done. o well right? Monday i went to see my better half.. ended up falling asleep over there, came home at 7 went out to dinner w/ my mom then did calc. tuesday i went grocery shopping then got my bday gift, then went to dinner. then got home, got angry, and returned my bday gift and got a diff one. then at like 11pm i dyed easter eggs, theyre all spongebob characters heh. Today.. um.. didnt do anything, i slept a lot... im reallyl tired for some reason and i think im geting sick. i felt feverish this morning and now my throat hurts and im super tired for some reason. well thats all i guess... tomorrow is the last day before break, woot. ~KC
should've done something but I've done it enough by the way your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you
So things have been a little confusing lately but i guess theyre better. I hate calculus it sucks and it needs to die bc im going to fail. luckily i dont need it to graduate. still bringin my GPA down A LOT though. hm what else. im sick of/bored with school. i know im almost done but this whole year has felt like a waste so far and now more so than ever. Im completely unmotivated. its like idk idk why i bother, i can not go and still do decent in all my classes, i can skip atleast twice a week and still do fine. and theres absolutely no consequences thus far. maybe the one consequence ill be kicking myself for is when i have to take the PIG final at the end of the year bc that means instead of one exam ill have 2 but i dont even really care about that.
hmm what else. things were looking bad w/ cyrus and i for a brief time, okay maybe not bad but just confused. but now theyre all good i think. idk hes confusing sometimes. difficult boys i tell ya. thats about it. idk i feel like the people who were my friends could really careless about me lately, and maybe thats bc im never around in school anymore or bc idk... i just avoid it? idk if its me or them tho. i feel like theyre all ignoring me tho. :0/ Oh well., soon enough it wont matter bc most people dont even talk after they leave high school.
And i should be doing homework right now, because i have a lot of calc and an art project to do but i really dont care.
Hmm so the week.. wow i havent written since mooondaY? gez. okay so the week.. hmm... Tuesday.... umm... yea... what did i do.. i dont exactly remember probably nothing. OH went shopping w/ my mom as always, then i went to bills to get the pics which turned out good and that was it i think. then umm wednesday umm hmm.. i dont think i did anything.. atleast not that i recall. thursday i went job hunting with pissy, that was exciting. and nick got me an interview w/ the lady at target, hopefully she'll actually call me about it. then cyrus came to get me after class and we went back to his place and he made dinner while beaver and i made fun of him lol. then we ate, hes a pretty good cook;0) then we cuddled for a lil bit. and i think that was it. came home at 10:30. friday i felt like SHIT. i couldnt even open my eyes so i did nothing all day.. i watched 7 hrs of spongebob when i woke up. then i watched some show about people in the mofia then a show about hilter. that was all. then today i went n got cyrus and my sis and spent hte day hanging out w/ cyrus. it was good and bad. he did say a few things that upset me but we're all good now:) we talked and yea. we're perfect again of course:p then i ventured over to jills party which was exciting, i "jimmied" everything lol. that is all. ~ Super-Duper KC
So if you couldnt tell today was johns bday! no i dont still hate him for being a complete cock to me not at all. anyways. hmm beena while since i wrote. Friday the field trip was alright, the 2 hr bus ride each way was a bit excessive adn so was the getting back at 2:40 instead of the original plan of 1:45! besides that it was decent. no art work stuck in my mind, i liked the striped painting at the beginning when we first walked in but everyone is like "omg that takes no talent blah blah blah" which is BS bc no one realizes how planned out that had to be only a perfectionist could have completed it. Anyways. Then i went to see dawn of the dead w/ hu, nickbert and phil. that was cool, good movie, funny but i dont think it was supposed to be. then i went to visit cyrus for a bit, yay for cuddling:) we had an enjoyable talk also... more understanding of eachother and such i guess. hm.. saterday didnt really do much for the day. got brugers mmmm bagel. then sat nite while i was taking my nap at 9, Nik decided to wake me up to go hang out w/ her, deek, and hu, that was alright, lol intersting things found out lol. and yea that was it. hu and i left adn just drove around nothin outa the ordinary. Hmmm that was it... sunday umm yea.. sunday... wtf did i do yesterday? i dont think i did anything at all. nope i didnt. TOday was alright i guess. nothing exciting happened at school, oh cept Kate, the sub for pig let me leave when my work got done so i ended up not having to stay till 2:15... GLORY. hmm that was it. then i went to see cyrus for a lil bit at 4 since he had class at 7 it was short lived. plus he was tryin to do hw so i watched the price is right then the simpsons then made him dinner. that was about it for my nite.... blah
Hmm so what to write about... i dont really remember wahts been going on lately. dono why tho. maybe its the lack of sleep... possibly. Tuesday i had another lunch date w/ nicole but instead of staying at school we left early and went to visit deek. That was umm interesting... lol. I found out some info that i quite possibly should not have ever known nor ever really wanted to kno about certain ppl. heh. then i got addicted to mariokart! even tho im possibly the suckiest person to ever play the game, im a funny kind of sucky:0) Hmmmm what else. Yesterday i visited Cyrus that was good times.. till he had to go to class, *tear*. then i came home and did nothing as usual. looked for shoes for ball and found stripper shoes. lots of them. hmm today... skool was schooly..... Came home, took a brief 2 hr nap, woke up more tired than when i fell asleep wished i coulda slept longer. hmm got up.... hung out, showered, umm... talked to cyrus, called rae, went out to dinner w/ Cyrus:) that was fun/ interesting:) all around good times tho. im glad to be able to spend time w/ him and have him in my life. hmm i guess thats about it.... Yay for field trips to buffalo tomorrow WOOOT WOOT! ~Semi-super KC
So i decided that since no one reads my blog anyways ill explain to myself wahts going on in my life.
Last week i had to hear from Troy that John was "talking to another girl" and didnt know how to break up with me so he asked troy to do it, at which point troy told me, not to break up w/ me BUT to tell me so i knew ahead of time. So then i called john at which he lied to me, told me he wanted to break up due to lack of time on his part, and when i asked about "another girl" he lied and said there was no such person and told me if troy told me that he was "full of shit because troy hates me" Then troy proceeded to tell me that he wanted to "hang out" because he liked me... hm... well that ended up being fucked up too so oh well to that. Then theres the nameless firefighter who cannot make up his mind what he wants. he tells me he likes me and blah blah blah but then totally contradicts himself and says something completely opposite about not knowing that he wants a relationship and yatta yatta... guys blow. its bs. Then theres Vman. who i randomly txt msged the other day cuz i missed him... but idk. i think he hates me still. idk im just soo.. UGHHHHHHHHHHH. And school isnt making things easier. YES miss brown NO ONE in the calc class HAS A LIFE and can sit at home every night doing endless amounts of calc homework YAY. What do i care anymore, im a failure.
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.
I don't wanna know If your playin me, keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore And if your creepin, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know
Things are fucked up. Guys are fucked up... i need someone whos real.... someone who wont play with me.. :0( this sucks!
So this week.. hmm.. well i guess its been okay so far. Monday was kinda boring, went to skool, left early, came home, talked to john when he went to his cousin's between classes, then my mom took us out to dinner. then umm.. hm.. that was it. then john called me again after school and we talked and that was all. tuesday i left early again, christy and i went to pizza hut for lunch then we went to chill at cyndi's for a little bit then i went to get my book for school then i went and got john from work and we ran all his errands which took forever, then we went to the movies and best buy then he had to go babysit and i went w/ him but ended up havin to come home right away but thats oaky atleast i got to see him for like 8 hrs yesterday... i swear we act like we're married. kinda scary but kinda good at hte same time. :0) TOday.. well today sucks so far. my mom is annoyin the shit outta me by tryin to tell me constantly what to do, how to do things, how to live my life. its FUCKING ANNOYING. and the she gets all pissed off at me if i even mention john grrr. she bothers me soo much sometimes. and im mad cuz john hasnt called me and i kno hes done w/ his class... *tear* .. time for a nap and hw. ~KC
So this weekend was alright i suppose. Friday i was gona babysit for my neighbor but ended up not. so i went w/ franky to get her haircut which looks good btw. and then we went to bug john at work which was unsuccessful since it was busy there. so we bowled a game. then we harassed him. then we went and harassed sean at work. then i was on my way home and john called so i had to go all the way back out to get him from work then we went to hte movies w/ sean and frank. that was fun i guess. pointless movie but it was decent. "you got served" haha. anyways. saturday sucked cuz someone didnt go home after work:( so we didnt get to hang out but i washed 3 cars and cleaned the inside of mine and johns. then i had to go babysit at 8:30 till 3am. which sorta sucked but i needed the money. then today someone woke me up by calling me but thats okay cuz i got to see him today atleast for a lil bit. i saw more of his grandma than i did of him but o well i guess. better than not at all. hopefully ill get to see more of him this week itd be nice and maybe then iwont make him feel guilty:0/ thats all. ~KC
heeh thats my new song for when im mad at john heh. Anyways, i had a decent day. WEnt to school left early, hung out.. wasted time. went to get john, we went to livonia to go see his old friends. that was fun they seemed pretty nice to me, a bit goofy but hey thats okay:) Then we came back home and he talked to his mom and she called him in sick to work for his uncle hten we came here and he paid for hte rest of the car then we were gona go out but saw his brother so we went over there and hung out, went to weggies to get a dvd, watched the dvd then i helped his bro do hw till i had to leave.. but we had a good time and he was nice to me cept when he makes fun of my car. but thats okay. well i guess this was for my own personal benefit but meh. ~KC (feeling super today)
i think im happy, i want to believe that he makes me happy but im not sure. he makes me laugh and smile and happy when im with him... im just worried he doesnt have enough time for me. i guess only time will tell.
I cant quite figure out where to go in life. theres things of interest to me but i dont know what the things want from me. Just thinking lots lately. Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day. Supposed to get a new cell AND theres a good chance of a good party;0) woot. Hopefully the future will be brighter.... Until tomorrow.... In a new life ~KC
